Sunday, December 4, 2016

Silver Yeti Outbreak!




Yesterday a horde of silver yetis terrorized the town of Kakodja. The local civil defense forces have contacted the Kovask wilderness rangers and even the military. The death toll caused by yeti attack is now 50 men, women, and children. What caused the yeti rampage is currently unknown. 

A Kovask Wilderness Ranger sniper is guarding the western Kakodja perimeter. Photo by Pétar Hanav

Current situation is rangers of the Wilderness division is guarding perimeters of Kakodja and planting mines. Just in case of another wave of silver yetis attack.
 
A Kovask ecosystem scientist Dr. Ivan Ramev Schroeder speculated said  that:
"The Western Mining Co. forced the silver yetis to come down from Sjeka alps to attack the civilians, they were driven off from their natural habitat. If we don't preserve the natural environment, there will be an instability in the wilderness and we will be on the bottom of the food chain."
The local authorities tried to fend off the silver yetis back where they belong, also Mirza Manolev, Hzarniki governor, and James Komanov, Zapadian governor had a discussion with the CEO of Western Mining Co. about the situation.
Local civilian of Kakodja town Milena Svizanic said:
"Those beasts ate my two sons and my husband, the government should do something! They should let loose the harmless to humans, the golden yeti as their natural predator to solve this horrific problem!!"
In response to the grieving Kakodjan woman Milena Svizanic, Hans Gerstein a yeti expert said:
"My condoloscense to miss Svizanic for her terrible loss. Yes, I agree on what miss Svizanic said about the golden yeti as a solution about this silver yeti outbreak, not only using the golden yetis to control the silver yetis but we must ban the Western Mining Co. that evil corporation is destroying our beautiful country. I will do my best as a yeti expert to help the townsfolk of Kakodja, and to accompany miss Svizanic from her terrible loss and grief, after all I am a gentleman and single."
The situation is currently under control with armed authorities guarding the town against an upcoming silver yeti attack, while the armed authorities keep watch, Hans Gerstein with animal authorities are trying to move dozens of silver yetis from Kubansk's forests in hope to stabilize the silver yeti population. Gerstein flew to Kubansk with miss Svizanic, it is unclear whether Gerstein is focused on moving the golden yetis or having a date with miss Svizanic.
 

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